Okay, that may not be a hundred percent accurate. Brad Dunn, the director of Indecent Proposals, didn’t tell me that I can’t write, but rather suggested quite strongly that I should try to write more about “the creative process” of writing Indecent Proposals. He feels that I should try to avoid personal anecdotes and talk more about how Indecent Proposals came to be written.

I certainly don’t wish to upset Brad. Besides being a talented actor and director who has been involved with all of my shows, I consider him a good friend. If Brad wants me to avoid personal anecdotes and focus more on how I wrote Indecent Proposals, I can certainly do that. I mean, the last thing I want to do is upset my director.

Okay. How I wrote Indecent Proposals sans anecdotes.

Indecent Proposals had its beginning sometime during the summer of 1980, just before I entered sixth grade. That was when I really started noticing how much I liked having an audience. My father had just given me my first over-the-head monster mask. It had big alien bug-eyes, fangs and long gray hair. The eyes bugged out in such a way that you couldn’t see the eyes of the wearer. It was pretty gruesome and very realistic (i.e. It rocked!).  I had been trying to scare my mom for about a week straight and she was pretty tired of me popping out of the pantry, or the laundry room, or her closet, and felt I needed to go play outside with my brother, Jon.

So I took my brother and my monster mask and went outside. Not really being one for sports, I decided it would be fun to try and scare oncoming traffic with my mask. Therefore, Jon and I stood on the curb and I pretended to strangle him while wearing the monster mask.   Hilarious! Unfortunately, although it was fun for awhile, more people were laughing than were truly being frightened. I decided I needed to go bigger.

I went inside and got my sister’s white comforter and a bottle of ketchup. First, I doused the comforter. Then, I stood on top of the fire hydrant in front of the house and draped the blanket over myself and the hydrant, so I looked about 7 feet tall. Then I made Jon cover himself with ketchup and lie at my feet. Talk about immediate results!

Cars were swerving , honking and stopping to stare. A couple people even pulled over to see if Jon was alive. In less than twenty minutes, I must have been called “sick” by almost a dozen people (very awesome)! Unfortunately, one of those people must have called the police, because in short order, a squad car pulled up, a police officer got out and made me get off the hydrant and give him my mask and my blanket.   That was when my brother, who was still covered with ketchup and playing dead started screaming. Apparently, he was lying on an anthill and I guess ants love ketchup. Who knew?

Boy, was my mother angry when she opened the door to see a police officer hosing down my brother. Then she saw the comforter. I was grounded for the entire summer.

And from there, I’m sure it’s quite obvious how Indecent Proposals came to be written.

p.s. Brad, I hope this is okay. Let me know!!

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